discipling girls

A burning question for believers

2011-03-23T16:22:00.000-07:00

About fifteen of us sat together for almost three hours as we wrestled with the question: how do we make a radical difference in the spiritual growth of the next generation? The group included children’s workers, youth leaders and pastors, and senior pastors from various churches. We all agreed that we need to invest in the young people God entrusts to our churches. Everyone felt that mentoring and discipleship was the key. There was also a clear, rather desperate, consensus that the youth and children’s leaders and pastors cannot accomplish this by themselves. So the stumper question of the day ended up being: How do we help others in the church see the need, commit their time and experience, and help them know how to go about it? How do we involve others in the discipleship process?

We did not leave with a clear-cut solution. We left with more questions than answers. But we left convinced that somehow we need to find the answer.

What do you think? Please post your comments—the difference this discussion makes could be radical!

God sees

2011-02-23T09:43:00.000-08:00

Recently I’ve spent a lot of time in the book of Ruth. One thing that strikes me is how obvious it is that God saw and rewarded her daily choices to do the right thing—often the hard thing. She went far beyond in her commitment to her mother-in-law, not only vowing to stick with her until death, but following through by providing for her with the hard work of gleaning. Although Boaz first noticed her because of the commitment she had made (2:11), her faithfulness caused him to observe that everyone knew that she was a woman of noble character (3:10-11). Her daily choices paid off.

We all know that God sees our sins and failures, but are we really convinced that He also sees and rewards our hard daily choices to obey Him? How can we communicate this concept to the girls we disciple? We can encourage them that God sees them and rewards faithfulness. And we must always remember that our girls see us and notice the integrity of our daily choices.

What about balance?

2010-12-08T10:42:00.000-08:00

It's a wonderful, exciting time of year--this season we call Christmas. It's also exhausting. We find ourselves falling wearily into bed at the end of a day of adding party planning and shopping to our already full lives; then, just as we're falling asleep, we remember yet another thing we really need to do this season. "How much am I expected to do?" we ask ourselves. "Where's the balance?"

The timing was perfect for me to read the latest issue of Fulfill magazine. I won't spoil the surprise--check it out for yourself at:
http://www.fullfill.org/fullfill/members/page.php?pageid=2621

And have a Christ-filled Christmas!

The Faith of a Child

2010-03-22T15:56:00.000-07:00

It’s been a hard week as we’ve watched a very dear couple welcome a baby into their family only to lose her five days later. One of many concerns was how our four-and-a-half-year-old grandson would handle the news of his little cousin’s death. He has prayed fervently for Olivia since her health concerns first surfaced months before she was born, and has been persistent in reminding other family members if they fail to include her in their mealtime prayer. How would this affect his belief in the power of prayer? So this morning his mother, weary from a long night’s vigil, braced herself as she broke the news to him. “Last night Olivia went to heaven to be with Jesus,” she told him.

A huge smile took over his face. “Really? She's with Jesus?" he exclaimed. It was obvious that he was convinced that his prayers have been answered. And they have been! Although the separation is painful, where better for our loved ones to be than in the arms of Jesus?

His perspective, unclouded by human expectations and assumptions about what’s best, gives us a glimpse of God’s point of view. It brings to mind Jesus’ statement, “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:3).

Leading a girls' small group

2010-03-17T14:07:00.000-07:00

I was encouraged by this tip of the week from Jennifer Rothschild Ministries. Check it out for yourself:

http://campaign.constantcontact.com/render?v=001u8SjZbUCyfNOSBaTTmRh92jRqmkAjoeq7YK-VCwwu-CE7s3DFIwjdvDsZlwgBzbiUphADnZw_epmQy42V37lv1BCbeemh_8yfWo92L4SRiwMsmG3YEJ88k8ICepAynqYK7Zf4NqIIssYgAzFSAkTN4JvglfJi0Co5x4K58-1KZP4XbK6sDBG8zRrwOOr-dmM

The Gift

2009-11-24T07:10:00.000-08:00

The sight made me laugh. The street was lined with houses sporting red bows, green garlands, and cheery lights—all except one. That one, as if in protest, boldly wore three huge wreaths with cornucopias.

What is it that makes Christmas so much easier to celebrate than Thanksgiving? Could it be because it’s much easier to give physical gifts to humans than to give heartfelt thanks to God?

Granted, part of the problem is that our society just leaves God out of the picture altogether, so a day set aside to give thanks is pointless. But we believers have to admit that being thankful is something we have to work at. That’s why it’s the sacrifice of praise that we bring to God.

If I really have the spirit of giving, and want to give God something this holiday season, whether November 26 or December 25 (or any time close to those dates), why not give Him the sacrifice of praise?

Looking for Monicas

2009-11-10T08:55:00.000-08:00

Throughout my life I’ve been challenged by reading about Monica, the mother of one of the great church fathers, Augustine. It’s so moving to hear of her desperate prayers for her wayward son and her heartbreak at his deception in sailing for his new job in Italy without her. Learning that his voyage brought him to the place where he would find Christ has inspired me many times in my own prayers.

Recently, however, I’ve been challenged in a new way by reading the book Sacred Friendships: Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of the Faith by Robert Kellemen and Susan Ellis, recently published by BMH Books. Chapter Two points out how Monica, in her dying days, directed the conversation to God and His eternal hope.

But it’s the questions at the end of the chapter that are keeping me awake at night. On question is, “What would it be like to have a mother like Monica who uses spiritual conversations to provide authentic spiritual friendship and spiritual direction?” Can you picture it? Can you see a girl you work with becoming that kind of a spiritual mother?

Then, the final question that gets to the heart of what matters to us as disciplers: “What can the church today do to equip more Monicas?”

Any suggestions? Please post them so we can learn from each other.

What am I full of?

2009-10-19T14:14:00.000-07:00

She arrives late—or doesn’t show up at all. She’s too busy texting her friends to talk with me as I drive her home from school—even though I’m making a special trip because she wanted to stay for an activity after school and her parents weren’t available to give her a ride home.

It’s easy to feel used in a mentoring relationship. And the truth is that we do need to be careful not to enable irresponsible or thoughtless behavior. Yet somewhere in the frustrations of working with immature young people, the gentle voice of my Savior prompts me, “Show her what grace looks like.”

I hear the word “grace” a lot. It’s in the name of my college, my church, and the ministry I work for. It rolls off my tongue so easily! But when I stop to think, I have to admit that I’m quite far from understanding what grace really looks like.

John the disciple made it a point at the beginning of his gospel to tell us that Jesus was full of grace and truth. He emphasized that the law came through Moses, but grace and truth came through Christ. Grace and Truth! What a powerful combination!

Responding to others with grace puts us in a position to speak the truth to them. It shows them that they matter to us, and gives validity to the truth we so desperately want them to know. Of the women who have made an impact for good in my life, the way each one related to me can be described with that life-changing word: "grace."

Do you have examples of how grace and truth have worked together in your life, or in a mentoring relationship? Please share your comments.

Creative start

2009-09-17T08:18:00.000-07:00

This idea arrived in my inbox and, while the website is for women, I think girls could enjoy this activity too. It's a great way to get them to engage with a Bible lesson through music and key words.

campaign.constantcontact.com/render?v=001zhxIANf2OP4KNrc-H8q1BkEn9pQeZBOcmT1zrgVcig88_eBQQPsAc6IpWU5xF7No_4uOkjiFdtcQoHbPivRXWkawVgAwXDQPf2l74muVpVVYRomgaSJ_5og9mh0j1EkD4ijUA8Unof3INhapT09PbipkQqVQ6qBd5HEsUZJNCi4gqzjuoYBLTP5t1Vk7q5fy

Worship = Service

2009-09-10T10:44:00.000-07:00

This morning I attended the funeral of a woman who impacted my life in many ways. Doris Julien went home to be with the Lord very unexpectedly Saturday night. The celebration of her life today was filled with tears and with joy.

Listening to tribute after tribute to her caring heart, giving spirit, calming presence and gracious hospitality, I was struck once again by the tremendous value of a woman who walks with God. She modeled what I long to see in the girls I disciple--and in myself. The traditional SMM values of worship and service were beautifully blended in this woman. I was reminded that as we teach our girls practical skills, we must not fail to help them develop gracious, grateful hearts. A heart full of worship understands how God calls us to serve.

Doris served as a missionary in France with her husband Tom, then served in many ways in the U.S. when he became Executive Director of Grace Brethren International Missions. She oversaw the care of the missionary residence in Winona Lake for 14 years. Someone commented to me this week, "When I would go to the missionary residence, I would see her there taking care of details to make the missionaries feel welcome. She may have been the wife of the Executive Director, but she wasn't above cleaning the toilets."

May God give us as leaders such a servant heart, and may it be contagious.

In Tense

2009-09-08T11:50:00.000-07:00

Bills to pay. Meals to make. Meetings to go to. Laundry to fold. Dishes to wash. Phone calls. Interruptions. Demands. Expectations. We find outselves trying to be all things to all people. Tension builds, like a rubber band being pulled farther and farther from it's anchor point.

Then we hear that there's something more we need to be doing in our Christian life, and our first reaction is to burst into tears. We don't want to stretch this rubber band any more. We know there's a breaking point. We know that when it does break, the recoil might be very painful.

So what do we do with our call to disciple those younger than us? How do we women keep from multi-tasking ourselves to death?

In Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership, Ruth Haley Barton captured some of what I struggle with as I look at the challenges of discipling girls. As she lists tensions leaders experiences, she observes, "There is the tension between the need for an easy discipleship process through which we can efficiently herd lots of people and the patient, plodding and ultimately mysterious nature of the spiritual transformation process."

Her answers to those tensions? An intense concentration on our relationship with God. Only through disciplines that nourish our own souls can be find the strength to nourish others. Then, she says, "we will have bread to offer that is warm from the oven of our intimacy with God."

Gifted

2009-08-14T14:08:00.000-07:00

She seemed confident and assured—an excellent Sunday School teacher, a gifted youth worker, and, what I envied most, an accomplished organist whose music soared in the little church on the corner. We were only going to be in town for eight months, but amazingly, a house was available across the street from hers. She was almost in her eighties—I had just turned ten.

The doorbell rang as we were moving in. There she stood with a plate of cookies in one hand and a grocery bag in the other. My parents were obviously glad to see her. I drifted back toward my new bedroom while the grownups chatted.

Then I heard my name. Was she talking about me? What had I done? I stood around the corner from them so they couldn’t see me. After all, children should be seen, not heard.
“I thought she might like some books to read,” I heard her say. The grocery bag rattled as she set it down. I was there in a flash, looking through the books carefully selected to appeal to a girl my age. In a new house with no friends, no TV, nothing to do, they seemed like a fountain in the desert.

I felt her eyes on me, and my timid spirit took over. I started to fade down the hall, trying to be invisible. She called me back. “I hear you’re learning to play the piano,” she said. I nodded shyly. “Would you like to try an organ? I have one in my house.”

Of course I couldn’t go over there and play in front of someone I didn’t even know! She must have sensed the reason behind my hesitation.

“I usually work in my garden between 9 and 10 in the morning,” she said. “I’ll set some music books out, and you can just come over and have the house to yourself. Try it out and see if you like it.”

So I did—hesitantly at first, but gaining boldness as the days went on. Eventually, I didn’t even mind if she stayed in the house when I played. Soon I was stopping in the garden to talk with her on my way home, soothed and comforted by the chance to play that rumbling organ. Her interest, the fact that I mattered to her, was a powerful key to surviving a difficult time in my life.

I still can’t play the organ very well—unfortunately, her musical gift didn’t rub off on me. Her mentoring spirit, however, did. What greater gift can we give?

Not optional!

2009-08-02T12:42:00.000-07:00

Two questions:

How old do the "younger women" have to be before we start teaching them the values Paul lists?
Does this sound like it's optional?

"Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God." (Titus 2:3-5)